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Oddly enough I don’t enjoy being propositioned as a personal sex toy. Fuck off right now I wonder what it’s like to be permanently sexually frustrated… I wish going into a sex shop didn’t make me so uncomfortable. If you want to see a sex scene between Olivia Wilde and Ashley Greene, watch the movie Butter. I just want to hold her and comfort her. But I know she doesn’t like being touched when she’s upset. I want to kiss her and play with her hair and hold her hand. I want to please her in every sense of the word. I want my name on her lips. I want her to be mine. I want to protect her from all the evils of the world yet I can’t. I love her. And the best and worst part is she’s my best friend. I want to cuddle with him. To know that I am the girl that makes him the happiest. I want to see how my touch makes him feel. I love kissing him. I love holding his hand and just being around him brightens my day. I want to be his. I love him. And the worst part and best part is he’s my best friend. Why did God give me two people that I cannot imagining living without? I love them both. I love them in different ways and for different reasons. They are not the same. They are separate in every way. Yet I love each of them so deeply that it would hurt me to my core to lose them. I know that I could never really be with her because my family would never accept it. Her family would never accept it. To be with him is so easy though. His family loves me and I them. My family loves him and he them. It’s a “normal” relationship. I hate choosing him over her. And her over him. But if I let them both go, where does that leave me? Broken, alone, depressed and missing them. Why does love have to be so complicated? it seems to have turned into somewhat of a sex chat thing.
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